Russia!

When I lived in Ripponlea I used to frequent a Russian butcher there who clearly preferred dealing with Russian customers than non-Russians.  I'd always ask him whether the beef or the pork pastrami was better and he would respond deadpan in a heavy Ruski accent: "Depends which one you prefer."  Similarly the big-haired make-up heavy ladies working the counter at Carlisle Street institution Golden Rye Bakery don't have much patience when you ask them what the difference is between the Moscow and Vienna Rye.  But it was high time I lifted the Russo-indulgences from Saturday morning dalliances to a fully fledged Saturday night extravaganza.

So with an eclectic composition of people we ventured to "Matrioshkas" restaurant in Carnegie.  We walked in half an hour late to what looked like the sort of place you would beg your parents not to have your bar-mitzvah at.  We were late.  So when we walked in, everyone looked at us and we felt like we had just walked into the Red Square draped in American flags during the Cold War.  We sat down at a long table that was covered in a variety of cold dishes (there were at least 30 plates), which had me thinking that this was very far removed from the Russian bread lines a couple of decades ago.  The selection of food was outstanding and included a variety of Eastern European staples like cold meats, smoked salmon, rye bread, pickles, garlic pickled mushrooms (not for the breath conscious) and deep fried rockling.  The highlights/lowlights for the "cold entree" were Salad Olivie (traditional Russian potato salad), Baked Eggplant with nut sauce and Cholodetz (traditional Russian meat jelly - which basically tasted like a garlicky roast beef that had been left in the fridge overnight so that the gravy had coagulated).  I'll let you decide which was the high/lowlight.

Whilst we were working our way through the cold entree, the hot entree arrived and was stacked jenga-like on top of the cold entrees, there being no room elsewhere.  This included garlic prawns, roasted potatoes with dill and two of the more intriguing dishes of the evening.  Firstly red salmon caviar with blintzes (crepes) - my experience with caviar is limited but the caviar was like laying a Rex Hunt like kiss on Nemo.  Secondly, the Piroshki, which was a doughnut with ground beef, rather than sweet strawberry jam.  I always like a restaurant that has shot glasses on the table and a BYO policy so we worked through the litre bottle of Absolut Vodka we brought with us.

At around this time the band kicked into gear.  The band consisted of one guy who was a DJ (I think) / keyboardist/other and the two girls who didn't go onto become early noughties Russian pop duet T.A.T.U. (nor Eurovision).  The music traipsed through traditional Russian folk through to the Nutbush, the Chicken dance and then more modern pop hits.  The highlight of the evening was that for Adam's 21st two tables over, his friends used the venue microphone to say a very colourful speech.  After that, the main course, being a massive plate of different meats, was brought out and quickly devoured, washed down with more vodka, of course.

The slightly scary part was the end of the night when we were a little short on cash and got called into the manager's office to "talk about it" (very Sopranos!).  Overall this was an excellent night which didn't cost many rubles ($65 a person) - totally worth every cent! Nastrovia!!